Jan. 3rd, 2008

Poetry

Jan. 3rd, 2008 05:08 pm
compos_dementis: Picture of anime Mello with gothic M (not denial)
A poem that I wrote, dedicated to all the relationships out there that just didn't quite work out.

Out of Reach )

Wish

Jan. 3rd, 2008 05:13 pm
compos_dementis: Picture of anime Mello with gothic M (harry/ron scar)
I could have sworn that I didn't want to hear it at the time.

Her voice, soft and... dare I say gentle, over a long-distance telephone conversation. That tone made my chest ache and made me yearn to see her again, to just get a glimpse of her blonde, blonde hair or her blue, blue eyes.

But I didn't want to hear it. A part of me protested at her words that she confessed into my ear, but a larger part of me wanted to take it into consideration, to feel the response I wanted to say leave my mouth.

She had been crying, and I could tell from the way her voice was constricted. Too appropriate, I think, the none too gentle pull of guilt on my heart, the flood of tears in my eyes. I listened to her statement and tried -- believe me, I tried -- to ignore the way she left me feeling, left me thinking, left me wishing...

"I want you back."

Those aren't the words I wanted to hear from her, especially when my relationship is currently going so well with another girl.

I responded the way I was supposed to. The proper way, the professional way, a way in which my mother would be proud. It was forbidden to return to her warm embrace, even when my girlfriend now is still mostly just my friend, hands shaking as we touch, giving only chaste kisses for fear of destroying our previous friendship.

To go back would be a betrayal, and I told her so, and it hurt to hear her sobs on the phone.

"I'm sorry," I responded, and I was a good girl, and I didn't tell her I still love her, didn't let her know how I feel.

But her words -- "I want you back..."

A part of me wanted to run, and a larger part of me still wanted to run back into her warm, loving arms.W

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